


The Cleverness of Me

by screamlet



Category: Star Trek (2009)
Genre: Awkwardness, First Date, First Time, Humor, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-30
Updated: 2010-01-30
Packaged: 2017-10-06 20:12:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57331
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screamlet/pseuds/screamlet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Kirk lives out a space romcom.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cleverness of Me

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted by [](http://archiveofourown.org/users/waldorph)waldorph; she wanted _Kirk being oblivious. I want the whole crew to know that Spock loves him… and for Spock to be at his wits end. Something about sexually-frustrated!Spock appeals to me. Bonus if Kirk is fucking everything with legs in the meantime._ Well, I got the oblivious part down. Beta'd by cleverboots, [](http://archiveofourown.org/users/leupagus)leupagus, and [](http://archiveofourown.org/users/chelsey/pseuds/chelsey)chelsey, who are very much adored and appreciated by me. Title from _Peter Pan_, because I'm out of titles. Scores at least 100 on the list of [](http://www.invisibleplanets.com/kirk_spock/KSCliches.htm)K/S Cliches, aww yeah.

Kirk slammed his hands on the door to Spock's quarters until he heard Spock call out, "Enter." Kirk wondered whether sometimes Spock just let him stand outside and hit the door to get his Vulcan jollies. The more he thought about it, the more plausible it sounded.

"Pepper!" Kirk replied as he walked through the door. Spock calmly raised an eyebrow at him in response.

"Like the spice?" Spock asked.

"Yeah! Well, I don't know." Kirk walked over to the synthesizer in the wall and began to program his dinner. "I mean, we used to tease her and sing a song about how Pepper was a leper and would grow into a heifer that a farmer would slaughter and season with pepper…" Kirk looked over his shoulder and smirked. "Except me. I'd never be that mean."

Spock joined him at the synthesizer and Kirk could see a corner of his mouth tightening slightly. Kirk beamed and looked to the synthesizer again.

"Anyway, I just chased her around the playground and pushed her and elbowed her out of the way at lunch and shit like that because, you know, I was eight, how else do you show a girl you like her?"

"Did she offer any retaliation?" Kirk stepped aside with his tray and waited as Spock entered his codes.

"The kiss _was_ retaliation," Kirk said as he laughed. "She just found me one day during recess and said our teacher had called me in. I took two steps and then she grabbed me by the back of the neck and _kissed me_ in front of everyone."

"Is this a frequent occurrence among humans?" Spock asked as he waited for his meal. Kirk couldn't be completely sure, but Spock had his eyebrows knit together in a way that suggested some mild horror and/or panic. "Kissing another person to spite them?"

Kirk laughed again and said, "It's a childhood thing. Didn't you ever hear the phrase 'kids can be so cruel'? You just… do things without thinking about it, and then your resident authority figure…"

"I understand, Jim," Spock said in a tone that seemed to suggest Kirk shut the hell up.

"Hmm, hellion Spock," Kirk mused. He walked over to the desk, put his tray down, and fell into his usual off-duty slouch in the chair. He watched Spock walk to him, stand over the table for a second and _stare_ at him, and then sit down with his tray. Spock sitting down, Kirk reflected, was like Sulu's amazing folding katana, which folded into itself in perfect angles. Rather than become a _total_ creep in Spock's eyes, Kirk refrained from commenting on the thousand differences he had noticed between their bodies, and from asking whether it was biology or upbringing -- if _Kirk_ had been a diplomat's son, would he -- yeah, he'd probably still be an asshole.

Kirk sat up properly in his chair and cleared his throat. "Where were we? I was somewhere else."

"Pepper gave you your first kiss," Spock said, fork raised to his mouth. "In the schoolyard, in front of everyone. What were the repercussions?"

Kirk thought for a moment and answered, "Endless mocking. Her friends pushed us into a closet once, locked us in, and said we couldn't come out until we had set a date for the wedding. And she had to pick a maid of honor, too, I think."

"And you did not pursue the --"

"There was nothing to pursue!" Kirk laughed. "Last I heard of her, she was married to some farmer way up near the Arctic with a ton of kids she's probably using for fuel." Kirk glanced at his dinner and suddenly remembered he was starving. "Anyway, tell me about your first kiss," he said as he picked at his dinner with a fork. "But if it was Uhura, we're canceling this mission and going straight to Argelius II for some quality time at a few dozen brothels."

Kirk looked up from his dinner and found Spock staring at him blankly -- incredulity, that's what it was!

"Sorry," he said, and offered him a grin.

"Really, Jim, had my first sexual encounter been at the age of 26 with Lieutenant Uhura, the difficulties I encounter on this ship would increase at least sixfold."

"Wait, what difficulties?" Kirk asked, and winced from rushing to swallow what he had been chewing. "Someone giving you a hard time?"

Spock exhaled sharply and replied, "Perhaps I misspoke; however, I have noticed a definite curiosity over my being a Vulcan --"

"Yeah, sorry about that," Kirk said, shifting uncomfortably.

"No, Jim," Spock rushed to say, "Not you. Never you. However, among the crew, I have noted an open tendency to see me as… an oddity, though we have been on this mission for more than a year." Spock picked at something in his bowl and added, "I would not admit that to anyone else."

"Yeah, I get it," Kirk said, and wondered why Spock thought he would ever fit in -- ever _want_ to fit in -- when he was -- well, he was _Spock_. He smiled and looked away from Spock, feeling a sudden awkwardness set in. "I'd clap you on the shoulder or offer a hug or something, but the desk is here. We're at an awkward angle. Maybe some other time?"

"The intention is enough," Spock replied. Kirk avoided looking at Spock for a moment, then looked at him from the corner of his eye -- Spock was looking at some distant point and then turned to Kirk quickly. "You are aware of the Vulcan style of kissing that differs from the human style?"

"Um, yeah," Kirk said. "Right, that -- the other stuff we were talking about. Uh. Fingers, right?" He held up his pointer and middle fingers together and then saluted Spock like he had seen in an old advertisement for a kids' scouting thing.

"Not quite like that," Spock said and Kirk would have bet everything he owned that Spock had been about to laugh. "It does involve the two initial digits, and the kiss occurs when --"

"Just show me," Kirk sighed.

Kirk held his hand out and Spock looked at it for a moment. Instead, Spock held up his own two hands and rubbed the two sets of fingers together briefly.

"So wrapping around the wrist -- does that count as third base?" Kirk asked.

"Base?"

Kirk rolled his eyes, and then asked, "Vulcans _never_ use their mouths?"

"Eventually, yes, but this is the initial contact," Spock said.

"So you count that as your first kiss," Kirk said.

"Not _this_ \--"

"No, not _that_ right _there_ \--"

"It was with my former betrothed, T'Pring."

"Whoa _what_?" Kirk asked. "You were _engaged_?"

"I was and I believe she is alive and well with her husband on the Efrosian homeworld," Spock said. "She is a member of the diplomatic staff there, and so survived the destruction of Vulcan."

"Wow," Kirk breathed. "So tell me how you broke up. Got together. Everything. You can't hold out on me now!"

"I did not intend to," Spock replied. "As children, our parents arranged a marriage and it is customary for the couple to kiss as part of the ceremony. I had just turned eight, and she was seven."

"And how'd it end?" Kirk asked. He was leaning on the desk heavily and didn't notice that he had dunked his sleeve into a bowl of sauce that came with his meal. "When?"

"I returned to Vulcan during my 21st year, ready to… marry," Spock said. "Vulcan tradition held that she could accept me or challenge my claim to her, and she challenged it."

"That _bitch_," Kirk gasped.

"I had been at Starfleet during those years of our adolescence which would have allowed us to develop as a couple," Spock replied. "I believe avoiding an arranged marriage was one of the reasons my mother supported my entering Starfleet over the Vulcan Science Academy."

"Was it one of _your_ reasons?" Kirk asked. He watched Spock's expression and laughed at him after a few moments, after Spock had blinked slowly and looked at the desk instead of Kirk's eyes. "It _totally_ was, don't even try and hide it!"

"If I could continue?" Spock asked, looking a little more flushed than he had been.

"Yeah, yeah, go on!" Kirk said. "So you show up, ready to marry her, she challenges it, then what? Did the guy she was going to marry put up a fight? Did _you_ put up a fight?"

"Traditionally, yes, we would have fought," Spock said. "But I declined to do so and returned to Earth." Spock looked at his meal again and picked at it again. "Then she married, moved with her husband to take her diplomatic post, and I have not seen her since."

"I'll slap her in the face if I ever meet her, just for you," Kirk offered. "She doesn't know what she's missing out on."

Kirk dug into his now-cold meal again for a few moments, but looked up when he noticed the silence and could feel Spock looking at him. Yeah, Spock was looking at him, but looked back at his _really_ neglected meal when Kirk caught his eye.

"What?" Kirk asked.

"Nothing," Spock said. "I was reflecting on the generosity of your statement -- that she is 'missing out'."

"It's not generosity, it's the _truth_," Kirk replied. "I don't know what we'd do without you, Spock, seriously."

"'We'?" Spock asked.

"We. The Enterprise. The crew. All of us. You're as much a part of the Enterprise as the warp core."

"I see."

They ate for a few more minutes until Kirk put his fork down and said, "Okay, first times. I'll tell you about Bethany and Gary Mitchell, you tell me about yours." Spock seemed to consider it for a moment, and nodded in agreement. Kirk grinned and sat up, and began his story.

*

Another day, another hostage situation.

After a third punch to Kirk's solar plexus, the Bolian renegade holding Kirk, Spock, and McCoy captive finally decided to move past physical violence to negotiations.

"Bring me what the Andorian courier carries and you and your crew may go," she informed them. "As a token of good faith between both parties, I will keep one of you and allow the other two to return. Deliver the parcel, and you will receive your comrade intact."

What _did_ the Andorian courier carry? Kirk had a few ideas, but he knew that _whatever_ it was, it wasn't worth his life. The game would buy Spock and McCoy time to create a bluff or something and get him, or time for him to, somehow, overpower his captives and race back to the rendezvous point. In any case, he would stay -- as always, he would stay.

"Get back to the ship," he told them. "I'll stay with you," he informed the Bolian.

"You have two degrees to gather the parcel and return here before I kill your captain," she told Spock and McCoy.

"Two degrees of your sun's travel across the sky is thirty minutes, by our reckoning," Spock said after briefly consulting his tricorder. "We will return promptly."

"Have fun, guys," Kirk called out after them as they left.

Twenty-two minutes later, Spock returned with Sulu and handed over a parcel. Kirk took a step away from his captor, who let him know (with her knife at his throat) that their deal wasn't over yet.

She unwrapped the parcel and lying there was a large, U-shaped link of sausage. She smiled at Spock and pushed Kirk into his arms. "Inform the Andorian that our gods smile upon _us_ this day," she said as they left.

"Will do, and enjoy! Thanks for not cutting off any of my extremities!" Kirk called back as they ran to the rendezvous point.

On the transporter pad of the Enterprise, Kirk looked at Spock and asked, "That was kielbasa, right? From the synthesizer?"

"Yes," he replied.

"And what does the Andorian courier have?" Kirk asked when they reached the turbolift to the bridge.

"A sausage made from a rare quadruped found only on the sister-planet to Andoria," Spock said. "It is a delicacy in our quadrant of the galaxy, and considered a sacred dish to several cultures, including the Bolians and Andorians."

"Sometimes I hate this job," Kirk sighed. "Like the days I'm held hostage over some sausage."

"Had we simply --"

"_Sausage_, Spock!" Kirk shrieked as the turbolift opened onto the bridge. "She almost gutted me over _a breakfast food_."

Kirk shot a glare at the staring crew and looked at Spock when he heard thirty chairs swivel back to their original positions.

"In the future, you should consider allowing me to stay --"

"Absolutely not," Kirk snapped. He turned on his heel and walked to the captain's chair. He sat down and shot up again to turn around and yell at Spock. "_Not_ an option and don't ask again. _You_ are not expendable."

"Captain --"

"That's an order, Mr. Spock," Kirk said. He sat down in his chair again and called out, "Uhura, draft a full report and send it my way before you submit it to Starfleet. Chekov, get us back on track. Andorian homeworld. Go."

*

"Captain, I have evaluated our current situation and have come to the conclusion that you forget your emergency survival kit on too frequent a basis," Spock said.

"Look, we were in a rush to beam down --"

"We were not."

"It's because I want your body, Spock. So badly," Kirk said. "But my feelings -- oh, these feelings."

Spock didn't respond.

Once again, they were on a horrible ice planet and the transporters weren't working. Kirk could have sworn he took his survival pack but _obviously_ he hadn't, so he and Spock were sharing a sleeping bag in a cave for the sixth time. Maybe seventh.

"I think at this point it's tradition," Kirk said. "Mommy and Daddy go down to the ice planet for some alone time."

"I do _not_ find that humorous," Spock said in something that could almost be a snapping tone.

"What, because the ladies of the Enterprise --"

"Do not interest me, the fact of which you are aware. My concern is for you and your insistence on having the sleeping bag work at half its capability --"

"But I've got you, my personal space heater," Kirk said, tightening his arm around Spock and rubbing the front of his chest. Spock didn't sound happy about that.

"Did you not understand what I meant by _touch telepath_, Jim?" Spock asked, sounding annoyed and quiet and… hurt, maybe. "Your thoughts are muted by our clothing and gloves, but -- they are there."

"And?"

"And you are too amused by this for my comfort," Spock said.

"Sorry, Spock," Kirk said.

They were lying on their sides in the bag, and Kirk shifted slightly so he looked straight ahead at the back of Spock's head. Spock had a hat on (he hadn't hesitated to tell him it was the _best_ thing he had seen in a pretty long time) and Kirk focused on the edge where the hat ended and Spock's neck began, and blanked his mind as much as he could.

"I appreciate your effort," Spock said after a few minutes. "Will you remember your emergency kit next time?"

"Probably not," Kirk laughed.

*

Kirk showed up in the gym and stopped short when he saw Spock and McCoy on one of the mats in a good old fashioned wrestling match which, frankly, he didn't think McCoy capable of, let alone with _Spock_.

Watching them was kind of hilarious, Kirk realized, and he noticed how shockingly similar their styles were. They were both more cautious than he was, taking their time in circling each other and appraising each other's weak points and trying to create some kind of plan of attack.

Spock was faster, though, and had McCoy on his back again in seconds.

"Hey Jim," McCoy groaned from under Spock. "If you find the platter where Spock's put my ass, can you send it over to Christine for reattachment?"

"Only if I can play the winner," Kirk said as he walked over to them.

Spock released McCoy and practically _ran_ from the two of them, stopping at the entrance to the showers.

"Come on, Spock, let's spar a little," Kirk said.

"I have an experiment I must supervise," Spock replied. "Perhaps another time."

"Aww, come on, I guarantee you --"

"Stop torturing him, Jim," McCoy said, still on the floor.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kirk asked, looking from McCoy to Spock, who was glaring (as much as he could) at McCoy. Spock looked into Kirk's face, nodded his head slightly, and began to walk away.

Did he just give him a _dismissal_ nod?

"Spock, come on!" Kirk repeated, and tried to rush at him from behind.

Kirk found himself on the mat parallel with McCoy, and Spock was gone anyway.

"He didn't even buy me dinner," Kirk said.

"You're an idiot," McCoy replied.

*

Starfleet, in its infinite capacity for sensitivity (and because the Enterprise was in the neighborhood, so to speak), sent them back to the Vulcan system to take readings on the space where Vulcan used to be one year on.

When the Enterprise drifted into the Vulcan system and Chekov announced they were at "the former site of the planet Vulcan", Kirk looked over his shoulder to the science station. Spock still hadn't turned around. He was still working. Kirk cleared his throat and turned back to the viewscreen, glancing at the crew members distracted from their own work to watch for their first officer's reactions. Just like he had. What petty _bastards_ they all were, himself included.

Except Kirk knew his glance at Spock was different. It wasn't just curiosity, or concern for his first officer's well-being, but it was _Spock_; if it had been Kirk, and this had been "the former site of the planet Earth", he'd be aching and compromised (even if he hadn't thought of Earth as 'home' in a long, long time).

"Thanks, Chekov. Can you put us in an orbit around the Vulcan sister planet?" Kirk asked.

"Her name is T'Khut," Spock said sharply.

"Thanks, Spock," Kirk replied, relieved that he was at least listening to the proceedings on the bridge. He looked over his shoulder again and, yeah, his closed-off posture suggested that talking (unless it was clipped and strictly work-related) was not going to happen while they were here except by some kind of miracle.

Kirk picked up his PADD, opened a new note, attached the file on the Vulcan planet Gamma Vega, and sent the following message to the senior officers (except Spock):

_Would I be a horrible person to take us to Gamma Vega (a **snow** planet, people, not totally icy like her sister with whom I'm more than acquainted with, thanks for the memories!) for a brief winter respite after we're doing being morbid here?_

Upon receipt of the message, Chekov, Sulu, and Uhura looked at Kirk with their best _are you serious?_ faces.

Scotty replied with, _Permission to stay the hell on board, sir_ and Kirk granted it, of course.

_I am a horrible person. I miss snow_, Chekov replied.

McCoy replied privately and beautifully. _Best case scenario -- he focuses on you getting hypothermia for a few hours instead of… everything else; worst case scenario -- he stays in the lab and sulks and works until we leave. Up to you. You can't ignore it, and you could do worse._

Uhura eventually replied, _Nothing's going to help Spock except time. Attaching notes of Starfleet's next assignment -- hostile planet reluctant to export grain for a nearby Federation colony. With what's coming, we might need this more than Spock needs us to be sensitive._

Sulu turned around and gave Kirk a subtle and solemn thumbs up instead of sending a message. Gamma Vega it was.

18 hours later, they were done scanning and found themselves back on the bridge. Kirk made the announcement about their next destination.

"Lieutenant Uhura, why was I not copied on the Starfleet transmission with the Gamma Vega assignment?" Spock asked.

"Not an assignment, Spock," Kirk replied. "I thought we'd take a day or two between assignments for a little winter break." He walked over to where Spock stood in front of his station and lowered his voice. "I talked to the other senior officers and they agreed with me that between this assignment and our next one --"

"The Chessu are a hostile people," Spock agreed.

"...I think the crew is going to need this."

Spock nodded and sat down at his station again. Kirk leaned over and put a hand on his shoulder gingerly. He looked down for a moment at his hand, resting horizontally so his fingertips could almost touch the back of Spock's neck and the fine hair there, but it was the heat emanating off Spock and warming his hand that was really remarkable. It was one thing to have a Federation species file tell him that Vulcan body temperature was significantly higher than a human's, but to _feel it_ like a hot plate under his hand was something else entirely.

"Spock," Kirk said after a quick clearing of his throat. "I…"

For the life of him, he couldn't remember what he wanted to say.

"I forgot," Kirk laughed quietly. "Never mind."

He removed his hand and walked back to his chair, and wondered why his hand (the one that had been on Spock) seemed almost to _tingle_ still. He was going completely insane.

"Chekov, set a course for Gamma Vega. Which, man," Kirk laughed and turned around to face Spock's station again. "Could your ancestors be a little less original in their planet-naming?"

Spock turned around but remained seated, and declined to raise an eyebrow at him. "The names you are using for these worlds are Federation designations, which Vulcan deemed to accept upon entrance to the Federation in the interest of interplanetary harmony. However, they _have_ names in Vulcan." Spock turned around and grabbed his PADD. "I can obtain, for your benefit, celestial charts --"

"What are their names?" Kirk asked. "I know Vulcan and T'Khut --"

"Vulcan also had the alternate names T'Khasi or Ah'rak," Spock interrupted. He put the PADD down in his lap and looked only into Kirk's face as he talked. "Additionally, there is a much more ancient name from the time before Surak." Kirk listened to Spock rattle off five or six syllables that shouldn't have gone together but somehow did. "The planet you call 'Gamma Vega' is Valdena, Class K/L because its atmosphere is thinner and uninhabitable to humanoid species at several points, and sufficiently oxygenated at others."

"It snows there," Kirk said. "Where we're going." Kirk wondered why their conversation had taken such a turn for the awkward -- was it just him? Was it because so much of all that history and culture was _gone_, and to hear Spock talk about Vulcan like that -- he didn't have a clue what was wrong, if anything.

"I know," he replied.

"Captain," Chekov said. "We have arrived at Gamma Vega."

"Valdena, right?" Kirk asked Spock, and fuck that security guy by the turbolift who looked away and seemed to make a little gagging face at the science lieutenant sitting next to him. Spock nodded at him and turned back to his console.

*

Valdena (dammit Spock, Kirk thought to himself, he'd never be able to think of it as Gamma Vega again) was beautiful. There was dirt and vegetation beneath the snow layer and some lithe, deer-like quadrupeds that managed to survive off it. Spock stood and took readings, which confirmed the on-board scans that said the atmosphere didn't thin to uninhabitable levels for at least 600 miles in any direction.

Once the first several groups had beamed down to the planet, Kirk considered relaxing, but couldn't because Spock was still standing on the fringe of all the activity with his tricorder. Kirk walked over, bundled up in his snow gear, and looked at Spock's tricorder.

"No abnormal readings," Kirk said.

"I had also believed Delta Vega to be free of predators," Spock informed him. "No life readings were detected by the ship's sensors --"

"It was okay, though! You rescued me!" Kirk laughed, and that was probably the wrong thing to say because Spock's eyes flicked up quickly and narrowed at him.

"Okay, okay, you can stay here on the sidelines and watch the cool kids have --"

"If you are not sufficiently insulated, you may beam up and --"

"Would you _shut up_ for a minute?" Kirk asked. "I'm _telling you_ something about snow."

Kirk waited until Spock glanced at him, lowered the tricorder, and asked, "What about snow?"

"This is worth knowing," Kirk said. "Everything you know about human behavior is invalidated when snow happens." Kirk watched one of Spock's eyebrows climb into his hat, and he grinned as he continued. "It's true. Where I grew up, if it started to snow, kids -- even though they had seen snow their _whole_ lives -- would rush to the windows and stare and speculate on school closing and the whole day would be pretty much lost. Snow has this effect on humans. It's just awesome."

"That does not seem like uncharacteristic human behavior," Spock replied. "Humans are raised with comparatively lax discipline compared to Vulcans --"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but believe me, it was different, okay? I'm telling you that you're going to see some weird shit while we're down here," Kirk said. "Like when Bones finally finishes bundling up because he's a delicate little Southern flower, we're going to build a snowfamily and probably some snow forts and engage in some kind of snow war --"

"And any other activities you can add the prefix 'snow' to?" Spock asked.

"Now you're getting it," Kirk said as he grinned. "So you can join us or you can reconnect with nature or _whatever_. I'd prefer it, personally, if you joined us, because snow is awesome."

"Yes, I believe you mentioned that earlier," Spock said. He looked over Kirk's shoulder and then back at him. "The doctor has arrived. I will take a few more readings to attempt to confirm the lack of predators and will join you then."

Kirk clapped him on the shoulder again, felt none of that warmth from before, and ran over to McCoy, whose expression was just as Kirk expected: annoyed at the cold but giddy at the snow. Kirk turned around and called for Spock's attention, and pointed at McCoy's face, then turned back to him.

"Is he joining us or playing schoolyard monitor?" McCoy asked.

"He says he'll come play after getting over some residual ice planet guilt," Kirk explained. "Maybe not those words exactly. So what first?"

"I say we start getting ready for the massive snowball fight," McCoy replied. "The engineers, _of course_, are getting their reserves ready, but they haven't banked on Chekov and Sulu's snowball packing efficiency."

"I think this just became a color war!" Kirk ran over and declared it, and watched most of the color-coordinated parkas split up and join the tiny established areas of red, yellow, and blue. Kirk ran over and dropped to his knees with Sulu and Chekov and the other command staffers that had beamed down.

"Sulu, aren't you from San Francisco?" Kirk asked as he began packing snowballs. "Where the hell did you get this love of snow?"

"Damn, Captain, can't a guy take a winter vacation once or twice in his life?" Sulu laughed. "Also, Pav has a pretty failproof snowball packing system straight from Russia."

"Let's hear it, Chekov."

After what seemed like an eternity of howling laughter, totally weak strategy, and running after terrified ensigns roaring like those creatures on Delta Vega, Kirk and McCoy stumbled away from the activity to the sidelines for a breather.

"Science is winning, I know it," McCoy said.

"No one's keeping score, so I say command is winning," Kirk replied.

Spock had disappeared for a while during the fight, but Kirk saw him now a short distance away, watching the fight intently. Kirk squat down and quickly packed a tight snowball, then walked around the area until he had the right vantage point to shoot it at the back of Spock's head.

"Cheap shot, Jim!" McCoy called out. "I've got you, Spock," he added, launching a ball at Kirk but only impacting his shoulder.

"Hey! He's a big Vulcan, he can defend -- Bones!" Kirk laughed as McCoy wrestled him down to the ground and began shoving handfuls of snow into his face.

"Bones, you better be ready to take care of me when I get hypothermia!" Kirk laughed. One of his hands escaped from under McCoy's knees and grasped for snow, which eventually made it into McCoy's face and around his hood.

"Dammit Jim, I'm a doctor, not your wife -- now eat your snow sandwich."

Kirk was too busy fighting McCoy off with his one arm until it was quickly pinned down again so he flailed stupidly with his shoulders on the ground. He shrieked and yelled as McCoy rubbed just enough snow in his face to be annoying.

"Where's Spock?" Kirk finally gasped. "Is he still sulking somewhere? He wasn't really mad, right?"

"Mad? At you? For being playful?" McCoy asked with his eyebrows straight up. "Try again."

Kirk struggled under McCoy to look around, and let out a scared noise when he saw Spock coming towards him. As he and McCoy had talked (the jerk, he must have been distracting him), Spock had calmly packed a large amount of snow into a tight sphere and carried it over to where Kirk was still under McCoy's weight.

"Oh no," Kirk laughed, "No no Spock come on no don't do th --"

"Aw, Jim," McCoy laughed when the ball fell on Kirk's face. "Nice one, Spock."

Spock kneeled down and began brushing the snow off Kirk's face, greatly assisted by Kirk's sputtering and promises to get revenge on both of them, they would see.

*

Kirk escorted the Imhotep ambassador and her assistant to the transporter, gave them his thanks for being so kind as to grace his ship with their presence, then stood back with Spock and McCoy to watch them dissolve. The ambassador's assistant gave a tiny wave of her fingers as they disappeared, and Spock and McCoy immediately turned to Kirk, still composed but with a very faint smirk on his face.

"Fourteen," Kirk said.

"Humanoids?" Spock asked.

"_Species_," McCoy clarified. "A cumulative total, so a bunch were at Starfleet. Come on, let's get you tested."

"You joining us, Spock?" Kirk asked. Of course, Spock followed, a hand clasping his wrist at the small of his back, his eyes turned to the floor as if in deep contemplation. Surprisingly, Spock spoke first.

"As the curriculum for each track at Starfleet is remarkably narrow -- something I commented on to the admiralty on more than one occasion while I was an instructor -- I am unsure of what suggestions it provides to those on the command track for diplomacy to --"

"No, her assistant was just for fun," Kirk said. "Diplomacy was getting the ambassador off the ship two days early so we wouldn't sleep together again."

"Is there a particular reason you wished to avoid that possibility?" Spock asked. "You and her assistant appeared to get along quite well together."

"Jim's picky like that," McCoy said.

Kirk shoved McCoy and laughed as he said, "Morning breath, Bones -- in their species, it's almost _fatal_ to us. Seriously, I passed out for a little bit this morning when she breathed on me. I think it's something about the potency of their oral bacteria reaching toxic levels -- for humans -- when their mouths are closed for that significant a period of time."

"Really?" McCoy asked. "You know, when we get back to Earth, they're going to _ask_ how we kept finding these things out."

"You'll find some fancy doctor way of explaining it that doesn't involve my pants. I believe in you."

They arrived in sickbay and Kirk hopped on one of the beds. McCoy wandered off for some instruments and Spock stood in front of Kirk, hands still clasped behind his back.

"No comment, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"What would you like to hear, Captain?" Spock asked.

"Not this again -- we're not on duty, Spock. Call me Jim."

"I call you 'Jim' on a frequent basis. As this is a nebulous social territory, I decided to err on the side of formal and address you as 'Captain'."

"Spock," Kirk laughed as he switched into Human Culture 101 mode. "Okay, the exchanging of first names or nicknames are a mark of human intimacy. The topic of conversation is irrelevant."

McCoy returned and, feeling kind, said "hypospray, three o'clock" before placing it against Kirk's arm and clicking it into action. McCoy was only taking blood for a control sample to test against later -- it was a routine Kirk was a little too familiar with at this point: the brief liaison with some minor government official, breaking it off quickly and charmingly so as not to cause a war, the walk of… something the morning after, usually just with McCoy, who was in it for the xenobiology tips as well as his main job of _keeping Kirk alive_.

Kirk didn't know if he liked Spock joining them.

The hypospray left his arm and Kirk rubbed the spot briefly. He looked up at Spock, who made a hum of discomfort that was out of the ordinary.

"I am aware of that, _Captain_, but disagree with your evaluation."

"So you're going to call me 'Captain' in this discussion?"

"He should be calling you _idiot_ because all this is going to blow up in your face eventually," McCoy said.

"Stop being such _downers_," Kirk said as he hopped off the bed. "Just for that, I'm not telling you about her expanding joints."

Kirk left sickbay and smirked when he heard McCoy right behind him, yelling something about the things he did for science.

*

Staff meetings with the senior officers had been casual from day one: after all, these people had seen Kirk get the shit kicked out of him by his first officer. Their meetings were mostly a rundown of what happened in each department week to week, which was really what Kirk was interested in rather than any bowing down to his awesome captaincy.

"--and mapping out this most recent sector brings our calculation to 15% of our entire galaxy charted," Chekov finished.

"That's like nothing," Kirk murmured. "Great! We've got jobs forever!" He spun in his seat and looked at Spock, who had his fingers steepled and seemed to still be staring at Kirk. "Spock? How are the non-medicals doing this week?"

Spock seemed to be in a trance and Kirk sat up in his seat. "_Spock_," he repeated. "Your report, Commander."

McCoy looked over and nudged him in the side, which brought Spock's hands down to the table. His face whipped at McCoy and he asked, "Yes, doctor?"

"Sorry, you weren't responding so I asked him to nudge you," Kirk said. "Your report for this week?"

"Yes, of course, my… my apologies," Spock replied. He picked up his PADD and worked on it for several long, awkward moments. Kirk glanced around and saw the same look of bafflement (and slight amusement, for some reason) on his other officers' faces. That made sense: Spock being underprepared, let alone _un_prepared, had to be a sign of the end of life as they knew it.

"I apologize, Captain," Spock said shakily. "My departments indicate that… we have not reached conclusive results in our ongoing experiments as of yet."

"Can you remind us of your project list?" Kirk asked, hoping Spock had at least _that_ ready to go to save some face.

"Yes… um."

"Did you just say 'um'?" Uhura asked.

"Project list is on page four of the addendum to the agenda," Sulu said.

"Thank you, Lieutenants," Spock said. He put the PADD down and looked to Kirk. "I apologize for my inefficient performance here, Captain. May I be excused?"

"Yeah, sure, of course -- Bones, you should take him to sickbay, it could be serious," Kirk said.

"I assure you that will _not_ be necessary," Spock said. He got up and left quickly, and Kirk stared at the closed door for a moment until he snapped out of it.

"Should I go after him and find out what's going on?" Kirk asked the table.

"No, Jim," McCoy said, but he was _smirking_.

There were too many looks that failed to be covert attempting to sneak between everyone at the table. Kirk sat up and leaned on his hand.

"What the hell am I missing?" Kirk asked.

"Nothing, Captain," Sulu said. "We think Spock… needs some alone time." Kirk watched Uhura spin around in her chair so she faced the corner and -- was she _laughing_?

"Jim," McCoy sighed, and for some reason, that made it all click.

"You guys are like twelve-year-olds!" Kirk shouted, and that sent the table off into hysterics. "That's so not -- he could be really sick!"

"He's not," Uhura said, hiding her mouth behind her hand and dammit, Kirk kind of wanted to hit the smugness of _knowing_ out of her voice. "He is _not_."

Kirk leaned back in his chair and slouched, then looked back at those around the table, who were trying a little harder to hold their laughter in. "So is it even worth continuing this meeting, or do we _all_ need alone time now?"

Everyone immediately voted for (literal and euphemistic) alone time, and they left him alone in the conference room. After a few minutes, Kirk stood up and left, heading for Spock's quarters.

Kirk knocked on the door and then slammed his hands against it. When there was no answer, he used his override code. Once inside, he saw Spock in the corner of his room, trying to meditate.

"That's just illogical," Kirk said. Spock ignored him. Kirk walked over and kneeled down in front of him, on both knees, and put his hands on Spock's arms. Spock opened his eyes and blinked slowly at him. How had Kirk missed how wide Spock's eyes could get when he was even just a little shocked, how thickly his eyelashes lined the edge of his eyelids, or the way when he was in _profound_ shock, his lips would part just the tiniest bit?

Suddenly, Spock kneeled up so he was level with Kirk, and his hands flew to grab the back of Kirk's neck and pull him in for a kiss. Kirk tightened his hands on Spock's arms and he groaned when the two of them toppled over on the floor.

"You need this?" Kirk asked as one of Spock's hands slipped under his shirts to burn a trail up Kirk's side and just -- _touch_ him.

"I _want_ this," Spock said. "Do you?"

"Yeah," Kirk realized, trying to not think about how long it had been since that one really sad night with O'Reilly or -- holy shit, how had he not thought about _Gary_ in forever? He leaned up to meet Spock's mouth again, and raised his arms when Spock pulled his shirts off over his head, and this wasn't routine or a game, but it was _Spock_, something Kirk had to keep saying _out loud_ and _moaning_ because real? It wasn't _real_.

Kirk opened his eyes and Spock was moving quickly, taking off his shirts and just pushing them aside and then leaning in again, hands on either side of Kirk's shoulders, his mouth worrying at the skin of his neck and shoulders and collarbone like he could never get enough. Kirk arched against him and Spock's mouth met his own again, stopping a moan short in his throat.

It _wasn't_ real, and maybe it was that Vulcan telepathy thing, where it felt like they were still talking though they weren't -- though Spock took Kirk in his mouth and his hands constantly gripped and regripped Kirk's hips and sides and thighs, and he held down Kirk's wrists as his hips arched slightly off the ground in climax, and the thought _Why didn't I see this sooner?_ seemed to be answered with _I. do. not. know._ \--

And Kirk's grinning and sighing as if to say _of course you top_ being answered with the press of Spock's fingers and a smirk of his own and _you don't seem up to it_, but that had to be Kirk's translation because Spock didn't use contractions and thinking of that concept _contraction_ had Kirk's stomach tightening and then Spock _thrust_ into him, and fuck, just. Kirk braced himself on the floor because rug burn was becoming a hideously real possibility and Spock's body was over his, on his, the skin just as smooth and tight as Kirk's own but so _warm_ he could barely stand it, and focusing on Spock moving inside him -- each thrust easy, deliberate, pushing against Kirk to elicit _sounds_ out of him he hadn't made in forever because --

Spock stopped suddenly, just stilled, and Kirk gasped, something in his chest _killing him_ because they had _stopped_ and Spock was laying on him but not finished and wrapping his arms around Kirk, and there was a press against his mind, against every feeling in him -- _you are wanted, you are **very** wanted_, and it sucked the breath out of him because that? Was unexpected, and so shocking it physically hurt. Kirk met Spock's thrusts when they started again, and threw his mind into it, threw _everything_ into reciprocating -- and fuck, he meant it. He wanted _it_ and everything that encompassed: the dinners, the missions, the floors they'd fuck on, the smirks, the eyebrows, the jackassery of each other, the shared sleeping bags -- Spock had to have heard that because he laughed as he came, and moaned a little, but laughed and oh _hell_, Kirk thought his chest might actually cave in from how nauseatingly _good_ that felt.

The moment passed and later, still on the damn floor, they faced each other. Kirk was willing his mind blank again, since Spock insisted on not letting a second go by without his hands running over some part of Kirk's body. This time, it was his left ear.

"I am attempting to project affection to you, but I am unsure whether it comes across," Spock said.

"I felt your affection before, on my leg," Kirk grinned. "And in --"

"Jim," Spock said softly, still touching the outer edge of his ear.

It wasn't a routine or a game and couldn't be anything less than Spock deserved and _fuck_.

*

Kirk gave himself the rest of the day before he ran to sickbay crying (figuratively) for McCoy. He rushed in, declared it "urgent Captain's business", and locked them both in his office in the back.

"I'm _not_ into guys," Kirk said. "I mean, not on a regular basis. Not… often. Not all the time. Not in more than a physical way, you know? Gary was just physical. Totally physical."

"You're into me, aren't you?" McCoy asked, smirking like the bastard he was.

"Yeah, your sparkling personality, break me off a piece of that -- _Bones_. My first officer is so hard up he can't get through a staff meeting, leaves probably to jerk off while thinking of me, and then we… and he tells me he… feels _affection_ for me. What the hell do I _do_ with that?"

McCoy just laughed and laughed, and Kirk stormed out.

*

Kirk was in his room between shifts with the lights dimmed and a pillow over his face that he occasionally yelled into because _everything sucked dick_. He would give himself time for one more drawn out shriek, and then give the Beta shift bridge crew a surprise inspection just to stay out of his own head. There was a knock at his door and he reluctantly answered it, leaning on the frame dramatically because it had to be McCoy or something, ready to laugh at him some more.

Then he saw it was Spock and he stood up straight, shoved his hands in his pockets, slouched a little, bit the inside of his bottom lip, looked away, took his hands out of his pockets and put them on his hips, and tried to put on a casual smile for him.

"I have acquired what the doctor informs me is one of your favorite films," Spock said. "One that you have often recommended to me and which I thought we could watch later during Gamma shift, when we are both available."

"Like a date?"

"Yes."

"Should I come over for dinner?"

"Did you have other plans?"

Except for those days when life-threatening crises engulfed all sense of time on the ship, Kirk realized he had _never_ eaten dinner without Spock while on the Enterprise. Even at the beginning when they were still snappy and passive-aggressive to each other, they ate as a group in the mess. Even when he was trying to seduce diplomats or their assistants, they ate dinner together before Kirk dragged his prey to another location. Even when Spock was dying in sickbay seven or eight times, Spock's unconscious body had its nutrition shots and some orderly would bring a tray of food from the nearest synthesizer for Kirk (and vice versa, McCoy told him so). Then they just sort of… migrated to one of their quarters. Every night. For _a year_.

Kirk tilted his head and said, "No."

"Then you will join me?"

"Sure. Casual?"

"As per usual."

"But it's not."

"I suppose."

"Should I bring lube?"

_WOW_ that was the wrong thing to say.

"_Spock_."

"Yes?"

"What are we doing?"

"We may answer that at a later time; I have an experiment running in the long-range sensor lab."

"Fine."

"Is 2030 an acceptable time?"

"Sure."

"There is always the option of declining, Jim. You are not obligated --"

"Spock, you know me. You know I don't think very often -- I just talk and make everything better. Or worse, but so far, it's usually been better."

"You _are_ adept at that."

"And you're _good_ to me! I don't get it. Get back to the lab, I'll see you later."

Spock left looking tight-lipped and kind of baffled, and Kirk ran off to find someone else to shriek at.

*

"Why'd you guys break up?" Kirk asked Uhura. "You and Spock, come on, spill. Right now it _looks_ like he's kind of become my soulmate while I wasn't looking, but I need to know why I shouldn't start regularly breaking that 'don't have sex with the crew' regulation."

Kirk had run up to the bridge and dragged Uhura out of Beta shift and into a turbolift to ask her that. She laughed at him.

"We were kind of incompatible in the long-term," she said after some deliberation. "Like… well, first, when we first got here, you were the only person he wanted to be alone with most of the time, and when we _were_ alone, he would only talk about what a childish and narcissistic sack of hair gel you were."

"He did _not_ say _sack of hair gel_."

"No, maybe not -- you're getting better at using less, by the way."

"Thanks, I'm trying," he replied with an unconscious pass of his hand through his hair. "What else?"

"You know that you and I are _completely_ different people and are going to have _completely_ different issues with Spock, right?"

"_Going to have_? Look, I'm not even --"

Uhura crossed her arms over her chest and said, "Kirk, I respect you as my captain, I like you as my friend, and I think you're making decent strides away from the drunk hick asshole who hit on me all those years ago."

"Well _thanks_."

"Spock told me he finds you fascinating," she said finally.

"Like a gaseous anomaly or an interesting plant?"

Uhura rolled her eyes and pressed the door button on the turbolift. Kirk countered by pressing it again and leaning against it heavily.

"Still didn't tell me why you broke up," Kirk said.

She sighed and replied, "He needs someone who is a total _complement_ to who he is. I… don't."

"Like a lamprey?"

"Not _like_ anything!" Uhura shrieked. "Can I go back to _my job_ now, _Captain_?"

"Yeah, go on, you have fun at your _job_ while your ex-boyfriend _takes me on a movie date_."

She laughed and yelled again, "You are both _damaged_." Kirk finally allowed Uhura to move him from the control panel and open the doors. "But have fun and maybe think about getting back to work some day?"

"Beta shift tomorrow -- be there or be square," Kirk said with a wink. The doors slid shut again and wow, Kirk thought, this was going to be horrible and _why was Spock doing this to him_?

"Bridge to Captain Kirk!" Sulu's voice called out from the turbolift's com. Kirk sighed and tapped the door button again. "Oh, there you are."

"What is it, Sulu?" Kirk asked.

"Nothing, just wondering if you had your date team assembled yet."

"Date team? Wait -- how the hell did any of you find out?! He just asked like, twenty minutes ago!"

"Captain," Chekov said, "You're not going to go dressed like _that_, are you?"

"His favorite color is orange," the lieutenant at Spock's station said as she worked.

"I don't have anything orange," Kirk said with total resignation.

"Don't wear orange -- it doesn't work at all with your coloring," said a yeoman who randomly appeared next to him. "Sign this?" she asked.

"The fuck," he groaned as he signed and returned the PADD to her. "Fine! Senior officers trained in haberdashery should report to my quarters at the end of Beta shift."

*

McCoy rushed into Kirk's room and ran over to him, shouting, "Okay, what happened? You said code red…" McCoy noticed Kirk's pupils were fine, but his eyes were focused on something over McCoy's shoulder. McCoy turned around and saw the contents of Kirk's closet scattered on every surface of his bedroom.

"No," McCoy said.

"Bones, I need your help," he replied.

"You did _not_ page me _code red_ so I could help you pick out an outfit for _your date_."

"I kinda did," Kirk said sheepishly.

"I'm leaving."

"No come on please I just need to know whether blue accentuates my eyes or would, like --"

"_Jim_. _NO._"

He turned and left, muttering to himself the entire time, and Kirk smirked when McCoy let out a sharp, exasperated, "_Dammit_" and turned around.

"Don't wear yellow, it makes you look jaundiced."

"You're _mine_, Bones," Kirk laughed.

*

Kirk took a deep breath and turned around as he left his quarters. In the doorway were McCoy, Chapel, a few others of the medical staff who had wandered by for moral support (in the form of preventing McCoy from killing Kirk), Chekov, Scotty, Sulu, and Ran'ak the particle physicist (who had been wandering by when Kirk had a momentary crisis of hair and been dragged into the captain's quarters for some ideas), who all smiled at him exhaustedly. He extended his arms and turned around for their benefit, showing off his awesome black pants and vibrant blue shirt from the McCoy collection (who couldn't stand to wear it since he _wore_ blue all the damn time anyway).

"Thanks, guys," he said.

"Now don't fuck this up," McCoy said. "Remember, it's just the most important date of your life."

"They're grown men, Leonard -- one would _hope_ that, if this doesn't go well, they can just _suck it up_ and move on," Chapel said with a strangely fierce eye in his direction. Shit, why was his medical team composed of the scariest people in the galaxy? At this rate, his next hire would have to be a goddamn rabid bobcat just to compete.

"If things are going well, let me know if you need a sudden light failure in Mr. Spock's room, Captain," Scotty said.

"Um, thanks."

Chekov _hugged_ him, and that was weird but, truth be told, it was probably the _least_ weird occurrence of the past 12 hours.

"Okay, I'm ready --" Ran'ak the particle physicist leaned over and nudged a few bits of hair back into place. "Thanks. Okay, should I like. Bring a gift. Or. Something."

"I think the gift of your vagina is enough," McCoy assured him.

"Thanks, Bones, thanks."

Kirk turned around, took a deep breath, walked 15 feet, and was at Spock's door. He gave a final wave to all of them and knocked on the door, at which point they all retreated back into his room and dammit, they were going to trash his room or, worse, _clean it_.

The door slid open and Kirk stepped inside.

*

Spock was all in black and it was _really_ severe -- except, okay, Kirk smirked because he could see Uhura had helped him out. There was no way the top two buttons of his shirt would have been left open to show off _all_ of his neck and how it went on _forever_, and the tiniest hint of chest hair if he had been left to his own devices. Damn, the classy bastard.

"You look great," Kirk said before he had a chance to think.

"As do you," Spock said and, yeah, they were looking each other up and down kind of unabashedly until Spock cleared his throat. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah, actually," Kirk said. "Now where's our waiter?"

Lame lame lame lame LAME, Kirk sighed to himself, and shuffled shamefully over to the synthesizer.

"Um," Kirk said as he tried to program his meal. He paused midway, remembered his codes, but had to redo them twice more. Thankfully, Spock didn't interfere. He stepped aside, dug his hands in his pockets, and looked at his shoes, mostly, though occasionally looking up at Spock.

"So."

Spock tilted his head.

"How was your day?" Kirk asked.

So began the most awkward dinner of his _life_.

*

Kirk _inhaled_ his meal while they made small talk, not the usual fun conversations that accompanied their meals. Spock gave up on eating once Kirk had been running his finger over his empty plate for a few minutes, and suggested they begin the movie. Kirk leapt out of his chair and walked over to the area with the larger viewscreen and the four bolted-down seats arranged there. He sat in one and Spock came over with his PADD, which he used as a remote for the viewscreen.

"You never told me what movie it was, by the way," Kirk said.

"_Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid_," Spock read carefully off the PADD.

"…Yeah, this is one of my favorites. Of all time. It's really funny."

Kirk looked over and Spock gave him the tiniest smile he had ever seen, and Kirk couldn't help but grin back with as many teeth as possible, mostly out of panic. Wasn't that an animalistic thing, to bare teeth in warning or something?

"Computer, lights to 5%," Spock said as the movie started. Kirk slouched down in his seat and clasped his hands over his stomach, genuinely excited for the movie that he hadn't seen in _years_.

He was caught up in the movie, laughing occasionally, and after about 15 minutes, he noticed Spock and instantly felt guilty that he was on a date and, well, ignoring his date.

Spock was sitting up in his chair, his arms on the arms of the chair, but his posture like they were at some diplomatic meeting and _not_ a casual night in. He looked carefully and, he hoped, subtly at the edges of Spock's face. His eyes were steadily focused on the viewscreen and, okay, at least his mouth quirked occasionally so he wasn't _dead_.

"Hey," Kirk whispered, and Spock looked over, then down because of Kirk's slouch. Kirk reached out and put a hand on one side of his chest, pushing him slightly back into his chair. "Relax." He could see Spock's throat move as he swallowed, and his lips press together and moisten themselves slightly. Kirk's hands felt cold, suddenly, when he felt the warmth and tension underneath of Spock under his hand. "Are you all right?"

"Fine, Jim," Spock said.

"Okay," Kirk said slowly. He motioned at the movie and asked, "Like it so far?"

"Yes," Spock said quietly. "It's very amusing."

"Great." Kirk turned back to the movie and his hand went to the arm of his chair. He swallowed the lump in his own throat and looked over. Spock had relaxed and lowered himself into the seat slightly, relaxing into its contours. Kirk extended a hand and placed it on Spock's sleeve, holding his forearm lightly. From the corner of his eye, he could see Spock glance at his hand and shift his arm slightly towards Kirk, which he took as a sign to hold him a little tighter.

Their eyes met and yeah, that felt kind of like a movie in itself, the way his whole line of vision was suddenly Spock's eyes, monochromatic in the dark but there was enough light from the viewscreen to let Kirk see them so warm and… affectionate.

"You should kiss me before the bike scene comes up," Kirk said. They turned their swivel chairs, and Kirk laughed at the awkwardness of the bolted-down chairs because they were even further apart when facing each other. Kirk scoot to the edge of his seat and Spock did the same.

They leaned in, leaning too far and Kirk laughed because it was really too far to lean, but they tried it anyway. Their knees bumped together and Kirk was running out of seat to sit on, but their faces were finally only inches apart. Kirk looked down and noticed for the first time that Spock's torso was actually about forty miles long and tapered at a hilariously narrow waist and hips.

His eyes flew back to Spock's face when two really, really warm fingers caressed the side of his face starting at his eyebrow, traveling down and along his jaw, and moving forward to his chin, where they lifted Kirk's chin up and brought his lips to meet Spock's. The touch on his skin was canceling out any kind of lucid brain activity except the necessities: he inhaled, registered the strangely sweet smell emanating off Spock, closed his eyes, felt his own slightly chapped bottom lip meeting both of Spock's, realigned his mouth slightly so --

Kirk was kissing him as if he had always known how, and Spock was kissing him _back_, his tongue brushing against Kirk's mouth. It all moved so slowly, so carefully, and it was so literally _hot_ Kirk could feel chills all over, especially at the fleeting thought that _eventually_, they would have to stop and go back to doing anything but this.

Spock said, softly, "The bike scene."

"Seen it already," Kirk replied, and kissed Spock again.

*

When Kirk returned to his room later that night, he found close to 20 people waiting for him.

"Is Spock still in his room?" Uhura asked.

"One of his ensigns blew something up in the botany lab -- looked like it was gonna take a few hours so we cut it short," Kirk replied.

"Oh, okay," Uhura said.

His audience exploded into cheers and screamed something like "happy surviving", and escorted Kirk to a place of honor on top of his desk. Kirk surveyed the gathering -- a half-dozen ensigns had started a goddamn slumber party in a corner of his room, but he couldn't be upset or annoyed when they offered him some of their popcorn; then there were all his senior officers, who brought their friends, and --

"What the hell, have you guys been here the whole time?!" Kirk asked.

"Get on with it, Jim, some of us have work in the morning running your goddamn ship," McCoy said.

"Uh, where do I start? Oh!" He pointed at Uhura and gave her a thumbs up. "Nice job on dressing him. He looked _hot_ \-- hey!" Kirk pointed at a science lieutenant attempting to edge out of the room. "No."

"Captain, can't I just _see_ \--"

"I took photos," Uhura said.

"Seriously," Kirk sighed.

"Were you your usual charming self?" Chapel asked with that _pinch_ of sarcasm that reminded Kirk why McCoy had hired her.

"Um, yeah, except for dinner, dinner was a mess," Kirk admitted. "_So_ awkward."

"But it got better, right?" McCoy asked.

"Are you guys _braiding each other's hair_?" Kirk asked the slumber party.

Chekov asked, "How was the movie?"

"You didn't _watch the movie_, did you?" Sulu asked.

"Ladies, gents, please, our captain is an old pro at this," Scotty said. "Can we give him the benefit of the doubt that he was a perfect gentleman and --"

"Right, did you leave Spock's virtue intact?" McCoy asked.

"Virtue?" Uhura asked with a laugh.

"What about _mine_?" Kirk asked, and that got more laughs than he thought it deserved. "No, we --"

The sound of the door sliding closed alerted everyone in the room to Spock's presence. The entire room went completely silent and Kirk rubbed his face with his hands.

"I see you are busy," Spock said.

"Um." Kirk looked around and sighed, then pat the top of the desk next to him. "Come on, they _all_ knew about our date and wanted to know how it went."

Their eyes met again and Kirk saw the tiniest crinkle at the corner of his eyes -- everyone else saw him take a step into the swarm and the mob mentality kind of took over with more shrieking and ridiculous _ooh_ing as Spock sat next to Kirk.

"I told them dinner was awkward, but the movie was awesome," Kirk said.

"Perhaps we may resume it tomorrow?" Spock asked.

McCoy spun around in his chair and pointed at Chapel. "You owe me a bottle."

Kirk, _fuck_ his _life_, felt like a sappy cow at the grin he couldn't contain, and remembered everyone was still there. Suddenly, the part of his brain that wasn't completely smitten switched on and reminded him of a little thing like _his job_.

"Wait a second, hold on everyone," he said. He looked away from Spock and looked over at the crowd. "I hope this goes without saying, but whatever --" That part of his brain wasn't completely functional at the moment. He grasped the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger and started again. "Relationships on board should be kept discreet --" He was interrupted by groans and sighed again. "_Not_ because this'll turn into a petty, catty floating bus full of teenagers, but because _anything_ significant can be used as a bargaining chip against you. Basic tactical skills: the less exposed vulnerabilities, the better."

"I support this evaluation completely," Spock said.

"And this is private between the two of us," Kirk motioned to himself and Spock, "From here on in. But." Kirk looked at Spock and then at the people in his room. "Thanks."

"I picked his shirt," Sulu informed everyone.

"The shade is an extremely complimentary one," Spock said.

"I still say it's too much blue," McCoy replied, and was slapped in the arm by Chapel.

"Noted, Doctor," Spock said.

"So not to be a bad host or anything but," Kirk began, "Could everyone consider getting the hell out, maybe?"

With surprisingly little protest, the room emptied, and Kirk's upper arm was practically numb from all the congratulatory hits as people left. Eventually, it was just him and Spock again, sitting on his desk, Kirk's legs kicking back and forth underneath.

"I had hoped for some discretion," Spock said.

"Tell me about it," Kirk replied. "I only told Bones. And Uhura. Well, and you kind of told all the senior officers with that staff meeting."

Spock exhaled sharply and lowered his head slightly. "_That_ will not happen again, now that I have finally told you."

"And hey, you want me back for a second date, that's great."

Kirk grinned and looked away when Spock looked at him with a thoughtful expression. "How could I not?"

"Because I'm actually a _huge_ pain in the ass and annoying and are you kissing me without telling me?!" Kirk asked. He looked down and Spock, yes, was running his fingers over the back of Kirk's hand.

"I enjoy your company, and your mind, and most things about you," Spock said.

"Same here," Kirk replied.


End file.
